yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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