So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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