my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
