she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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