it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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