if i can run in heels then i can drive
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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