It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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