She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
