Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Idk if I want to put a bra on
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
