So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
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Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
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Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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