all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
