is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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