...so i touched it.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
