I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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