life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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