so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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