The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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