I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
