I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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