so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
