But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
