I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
God, I missed his penis.
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