Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
