I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize