the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
