Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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