so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
