Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
