Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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