Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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