people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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