I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Couch. On fire.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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