so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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