We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
