i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
honey bunches of taint.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
