3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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