when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
