there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
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He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
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Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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