she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
