38 yer olds are good kisserssss
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
