That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
