Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
