Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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