Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
