I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
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