no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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