i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
