I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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