The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Randomize
