Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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