bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
