my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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