Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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