God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
