I just made out with a guy for $7.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
