I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
