That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
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