Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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