Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Sext me about skeletons
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
