Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
