What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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