I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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