so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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