apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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